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THE REDNECK TEST
YOU A REDNECK, OR A CITY BOY/GIRL? HIS TEST WILL DETERMINE WHICH CATEGORY YOU FIT INTO WITH A HIGH DEE-GREE OF ACK-URACY.
Fust awf, kin ye speek raidneck?
If so, what kind of vee-hickel do yuh herd round?
One of them furrin jobs, or a big three product.
4X4 with Rebel flag licence plate, or suchlike.
An'do yuh hev 2 fust names?
Billy Bob, Mary Lou, Beau James, Peggy Sue or the like
Nawp, jest wun.
Is yer dawg wuth more'n the vee-hickel yer a carryin' him around in?
No dawg, or no vee-hickel.
An' do yuh have more'n five stuffed deer haids in yer livin' room?
Yup, some dandies.
I want out of this test, now!
Any cars on cinderblocks in yer front yard?
Yep, might need em for parts sometime.
Is this test for real?
are ther more'n five dawgs under yer front porch?
If there was, I'd call the ASPCA and have them taken away.
They wuz thuh last tahm ah luiked.
No front porch, no dogs.
Whats yer ideer of 'fast food'?
Mickey D's or PaPa John's
Hittin' a deer at sixty miles an hour.
A trip to the fridge.
Do ye hev more'n 2 gigs of of Remington and Winchester guns and ammo catalogs an' country music MP3s on yer hard drive?
If there was, I'd scrub the disk.
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms is:
A branch of the IRS.
Three thing society would be better off without.
Three of the necessities of life.
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